Session 3: Oneness in Marriage

Session Overview

This session will focus on the exclusive nature of marriage. A husband and wife must separate from their families of origin to join with one another in a complete, wholehearted way. This requires both spouses to relegate all other relationships and obligations to a lower level of importance. In doing so, a husband and wife should focus on cultivating oneness by living together, praying together, serving one another, and sharing physical intimacy together. This session will explore expectations regarding in-laws and the ways that each spouse should transition away from dependency upon his or her extended family (and other relationships). This will be a good time to discuss strengths and weaknesses in marriage modeled by their parents. It will also provide an opportunity to preview the marriage vows.

Biblical Perspective

  1. What does Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:5, Mark 10:7-9, and Ephesians 5:31 teach about the change that must take place in your relationship with your parents when you marry?

The fact that God repeats this principle at the beginning of the Bible, in the teaching ministry of Jesus, and in the later letters to the churches shows that this very important.

  1. What is one important way that God intends for you to do this (see the beginning of 1 Peter 3:7)?

The word dwell means “to live together in the same house.”

  1. What is a second important way that God intends for you to do this (see the end of 1 Peter 3:7)?
  2. What is a third important way that God intends for you to do this (see Proverbs 5:15-18 and Hebrews 13:4)?
  3. What do we learn from 1 Corinthians 7:33-34 about how to bring about oneness in marriage?

The word care means “to focus on something” and the word please refers to meeting the needs of the other person and making him or her happy.

  1. How will your relationship with your parents and in-laws (or other relatives) change after you marry? Do you agree about these changes?
  2. How will you cultivate spiritual unity in your marriage?
  3. Are you committed to sharing physical intimacy with one another (1 Corinthians 7:3-5)? What fears or concerns might you have about this?
  4. What questions do you have as result of this lesson?

Wedding Vows Preview

For the Husband

I __________ take you __________ to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness, and in health, forsaking all others, to love and to cherish, until death do us part: according to God’s holy ordinance: and thereto I pledge you my faithfulness.

For the Wife

I __________ take you __________ to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness, and in health, forsaking all others, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death us do part: according to God’s holy ordinance: and thereto I pledge you my faithfulness.

  1. What important things do these vows communicate?
  2. What, if anything, should you allow to break your vows (Malachi 2:16; Mark 10:6-9)?

 

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